schmufflepuff:

stonerparty:(via cravves)

toad licker

frying hella balls…:)

Yes, I’ll kiss you and yes i’ll close my eyes. kiss, kiss kiss. I’m telling you lies. Everytime I kiss you I feel disgusting, but with every kiss my soul breaks just a little. I know I should stop with these meaningless sex but I can’t I have tried. I know it’s wrong, you don’t have to call me a slut. I like to feel that I am in control for once that I actually did say yes the first time and did not say no the first several times before I said yes. I’ve tried to figure it out but peice by peice but it all leads up to you, scary man.

I was 13 years old and I said no, wasn’t that enough for you? I kept making excuses, you wouldn’t let it go. You locked the doors of your white car. The color of white symbolizes jesus but where was he when this was happening to me? I said no. I said no. I made so many excuses but you STILL wouldn’t let go so I gave in, and sucked your dick. You were 18, and actually kind of cute. You could get other girls who actually wanted to but you didn’t. You chose me. You chose that do that to me. Where was the friend who was with me? She was supposed to be there with me, but she left. She knew what was happening, she knew it and she left me. I was so good to her, she was so bad to me. But you didn’t just make me suck your dick your dick ohhh that wasn’t enough. You fingured me and told me to shut the fuck up. After you were done I found my friend and we ran to were my dad was supposed to be - right then and there I wanted to shout ‘daddy’ and hug him and I didn’t want him to leave me. So I go home and I cry as my friends in the bathroom talking to another guy… him. The scary man, telling everyone I was bad at giving head…. THATS BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO GIVE HEAD. 

I wonder if you remember this night, scary man. I wonder if you think about how you changed an innocent young girl to a trashy slut from just two hours. It’s okay, I’m ok with being this way. Your not the only one who was wrong to me. There was another, but you were the worse. I will never be molested or taken advantage of again.

princessstacey:

wittyarstyname:

(via suchaprettygirlx, demonsmakeyoureal)

so i can tell you i hate you.

So I can tell you I love you.

When I look in the mirror - well I try not too. It hurts too much. I am not mean’t to be disgusting. I was mean’t to be beautiful, so why am I not? There is too  much fat, it has got to go. Every last drop. Don’t try and convince me I like skin and bones. ‘cause when i’m skin and bones what can you say? I’m too skinny! HA. Society makes me laugh. But because i’m extremely weak, I always fuck up. I eat breakfast, I eat lunch, I eat dinner. Cause I ate breakfast I might as well eat the rest of the day right? i’ll start tomorrow.  So tomorrow comes along and I still eat breakfast so I use that excuse to fuck up all week. But then the next week rolls by and I don’t eat hardly anything at all. A peice of cheese a day. No soda, that’s gross. So starting tomorrow I will not eat, I will try this again. I lost so much weight when I did not eat. I will be beautiful, and then you’ll wish that you were as skinny as i’m going to be. Oh, and don’t give me any of that bullshit crap soicety, cause’ your bullshit is BULLSHIT. You know you like skin and bones, and you’ll love me. I don’t care if I die, I want to take control of my life somehow, love BINKEY.

PS; alcohol, and drugs do not count.    :)

god megan, you are beautiful and you know this. there is nothing in this life that is not beautiful, you know this too. the universe created you how you should be and it hurts that you sometimes think like this. please realize that beauty is not how you look on the outside it is how you present yourself to the universe in the world around you. go out, make a difference. donate. volenteer, and then you’ll be beautiful. 

love, megan.

ps; short shorts look good on you ;]

I just want you to know that I love you, I just want you to to know no one can ever stand above you and when the storm rolls in and everyone rolls out - i’ll always be there to give you something to laugh about. I want you to know that you make me grin. I want you to know that know matter what you think you don’t compare to him and when I you make the slightest mistake, i’ll fix it up for our relationship sake. I’d like you to know that your eyes are almost as beautiful as your smile is, and that I look forward to every kiss. I just was I had someone to write about, like this.

Hello my name is miss insecure.  I paint a smile on my face, I stick my nose in the air and I ignore your comments and then I walk.  Step. Step. Step. What you see I don’t know, and what you don’t know is what I see.  My personality changes on a dime. I’m a little less obnoxious than I present myself to be, because it’s easy for you to dislike me for what i am not than to dislike me for what I am. I know that I talk about alcohol, and I know that I talk about drugs almost 24/7, and I do that because I hope you’ll think I’m annoying and I hope you’ll never speak to me again. But I give my heart and soul to the people who actually stay. 

I’m trying to change.

              What you think it’s easy?

I’m trying to put my trust into people for once because I need to accept the fact that not everyone is going to hurt me.

Even though many will, many will hurt me.

I’m more than the fat girl you know me as. I’m more than an alcoholic or drug junkie. I’m Megan who can be as caring as you’ll ever need someone to be, whose sweet but gets hurt by people to easily. A smile can make me, a frown can kill my day. I’m megan who loves to party and have a good time, but I do like to sit down and watch scary movies. I’m megan who’ll get up in your face if you disrepesect me or my friends, but i’m megan who also doesn’t believe in putting my fist into your face. “What goes around comes around.” I’m megan who wants to be more than a one night stand, but will accept one night stands because I like to have fun, and i’m Megan that I think sex is fun. I love kissing, I love cuddling. I’m megan that loves to be told what to do, but I am also Megan that can be a great leader. I want to bartend and own my own club, and i’m megan who never wants to grow up and be an adult. I’m megan that will figure out more about me.

Hello, my names Megan.

“I wish that I’d learn never to get my hopes up. I wish I’d learn never to try, but I do these things’ a little too often and I’m not sure why. Everything about you, makes me melt inside. My heart pushes out these salted tears out my eyes. Maybe it’s just the alcohol or maybe it’s just me. I’d give anything to hear you call me baby. I’m okay with being just friends, i’m okay with how things are. But was soon as you find someone else to fall hopelesslely in love with i’m heading to the bar. But the tequila doesn’t hurt enough and the whiskey hurts to much. Pour me fifteen shots and watch me’ snort the sweet stuff. Cheers to drowning sorrow, cheers to hiding pain and fuck all this romance shit - and kissing in the rain. It’s silly how I’m feeling, but you don’t understand. My heart’s a bitch,  and my minds caught up in the loving’ you land. God damnit, just want you to see. It wouldn’t kill you to give me a chance and date me. Or hell maybe It would, cause right now i’m seemingly misunderstood. ignoring me? I don’t seem how you could, cause I’ve helped you with everything that a good friend should.  By the way It always hurt that you went lied to me like that. If you didn’t want to hang out all you’d have to do was say that. I do believe your lying to yourself by ignoring those feelings I know you get when I text you, or when I call. Sweetie hidin’ everything from yourself isn’t going to help things at all. So I guess you’ll just keep on’ with your pathetic little lies, while I’ll try to break our stupid ties. But you’ll always be friend, i’d just wish you’d see that girl you were talking about…. is me.”