Yes, I’ll kiss you and yes i’ll close my eyes. kiss, kiss kiss. I’m telling you lies. Everytime I kiss you I feel disgusting, but with every kiss my soul breaks just a little. I know I should stop with these meaningless sex but I can’t I have tried. I know it’s wrong, you don’t have to call me a slut. I like to feel that I am in control for once that I actually did say yes the first time and did not say no the first several times before I said yes. I’ve tried to figure it out but peice by peice but it all leads up to you, scary man.

I was 13 years old and I said no, wasn’t that enough for you? I kept making excuses, you wouldn’t let it go. You locked the doors of your white car. The color of white symbolizes jesus but where was he when this was happening to me? I said no. I said no. I made so many excuses but you STILL wouldn’t let go so I gave in, and sucked your dick. You were 18, and actually kind of cute. You could get other girls who actually wanted to but you didn’t. You chose me. You chose that do that to me. Where was the friend who was with me? She was supposed to be there with me, but she left. She knew what was happening, she knew it and she left me. I was so good to her, she was so bad to me. But you didn’t just make me suck your dick your dick ohhh that wasn’t enough. You fingured me and told me to shut the fuck up. After you were done I found my friend and we ran to were my dad was supposed to be - right then and there I wanted to shout ‘daddy’ and hug him and I didn’t want him to leave me. So I go home and I cry as my friends in the bathroom talking to another guy… him. The scary man, telling everyone I was bad at giving head…. THATS BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO GIVE HEAD. 

I wonder if you remember this night, scary man. I wonder if you think about how you changed an innocent young girl to a trashy slut from just two hours. It’s okay, I’m ok with being this way. Your not the only one who was wrong to me. There was another, but you were the worse. I will never be molested or taken advantage of again.